Cleaning Lady - The saga continues

How come every time the cleaning lady goes past me, she says:

"I'm off to follow the yellow brick road!"

First of all, that makes no sense. And second of all, STOP TALKING! You don't have to talk constantly. Silence is OK.

I swear, I feel like such an ass sometimes, but I don't have the time or the desire to talk to you for 30 minutes every time you roll by! The lady in the cube next to me is a SAINT because she'll sit and listen and ask probing question that require long answers back and I just sit over here and type and mind my own beeswax because I do not want to be pulled in. I'll never get out!!!!

I really wish I could record this woman's ramblings. It's like nothing I have ever heard.

I feel like Sybil with " the talking! the talking! the talking!"

STOP IT.

I haven't talked about MCS in forever!

Here is an article and picture in the New York Times. Matt is on the far left.

Little update; Big growth

Unless it involves baby symptoms, I don't have any exciting news to report. Life pretty much revolves around feeling like I've been hit by a truck and driving north and south on Powhite Parkway 5 days a week to go to work and then back home again. Other than that, it's snoozeville over here!

I'm now 28 weeks...only 12 more weeks until Stella should be here. And if she can hear my prayers at all, she'll come a little bit early. Papaw Creekmore is voting for July 21 because that is his birthday -which would be fine with me. I'm SO ready to have my body back and not feel like shit all the time!

Week 27 was rough. I think the little one had a BIG growth spurt and stole all of my energy (which I didn't have much to begin with) and I have started to get sick again - but it's just once a day (usually in the morning) and it's not so bad....or it is and I'm just so dang used to it! I also have noticed the belly growth in the past week - it's amazing! I'm feeling really full and tight and round and I am THIS close to waddling. Fun times!!

Processed Meat Product

I think the last time I ate a hot dog, I was 8 years old. Really. I'm a hamburger girl all the way.

But yesterday I started thinking about a hot dog.... Mmmm.

And LO AND BEHOLD, today was giant foot long hot dog day in the cafeteria. Somebody loves me!

But now my hot dog craving is taken care of and I don't think I'll be having any more any time soon.

Hot dogs are gross!

QUICK! Intervention Needed!

SOMEBODY TAKE THE HONEY TEDDY GRAHAMS AWAY FROM ME!

I just made the mistake of going downstairs to the Company Store because I was hungry and I bought a bag of Teddy Grahams. I can not do that ever again. I have about polished off half the dang bag!! Grrrr. I think I need to eat something substancial around 10am when the fruit smoothie wears off....and I need to be more prepared with healthy foods and not run towards JUNK. I'll let today slide but I can't let this happen again. I'm sure in about 30 minutes, I'll feel like crap and wonder what happened? Ugh.

Things are going well. Less sickness episodes - which is always good. I'm learning to control it more...and maybe I'm just learning to deal with it better? I do get puny around bedtime (8pm these days...) so I end up laying down pretty early. I'm always like a new woman the next day. The long sleep really helps my body to recover. No wonder I sleep so much. Better get it in now, I say!

Toby broke his hand last week. He hurt it really bad at work (dropped a generator on it) but didn't break it. Then he fell in the Home Depot parking lot and broke it the rest of the way. He has a removeable cast which he removes way more than he should, I'm sure. But he's a trooper with a freakishly high pain tolerance. He has not missed a beat at work or at home. It's like nothing ever happened. Except I get to do all the dishes. :) But it's ok - he did the dishes for months when I was busy puking.

Speaking of dishes, I got home from my parents' house last night and in our kitchen is a brand new stainless steel KitchenAid dishwasher! Toby got it from work for only $150..... it was not the right one that had been ordered for the $2 million model home he is working on. In order to return it, there is a $150 deductible so the Super just let Toby have it for that price. We've been wanting a dishwasher forever but just didn't have the extra funds. He has to knock out a cabinet to put it in - and I bet that will be done by this evening because he is so excited! This dishwasher is going to be a lifesaver when it comes to baby bottles!!!

Ugh. I'm so tired. I just want to go home and sit and do nothing. Not like I have been doing SO MUCH that I feel I deserve a rest. I'm just physically exhausted. And sitting here at work with nothing to do makes it much worse. My boss is out for 3 days so I'm not busy. And I'm glad. In my current condition, I do not want any additional responsibility since I don't know which days will be good or bad.... But it's hard to be so slow too.

When I get back from leave, I can get back to my old self and take on more work and volunteer for projects and get more involved...but right now - I just can't. But that doesn't make it any easier to deal with........

Whatever!! I think I'm going to go outside and run an errand for lunchtime. Lord knows I ate enough Teddy Grahams to hold me over for ahwhile.

Is it bad if I beat someone up on Easter Monday?

Today just kind of sucked.

It's 5:10 pm and I feel like I have just been running around like a chicken with my head cut off. That is SUCH a lovely image.

First, my boss likes to schedule meetings and then just blows them off and I am stuck receiving the flack from those he ditched. Like I have any control over this human being. I know it's frustrating. Hell, it's frustrating for me too... but what can I do? Do I bust into a VPs office or interupt his lunch with a SENIOR VP? No. I don't. Sorry.

Second, there is this person at work is on my "difficult people" list in life. And by "difficult people" I mean "I hate her." I made a dumb mistake earlier and by dumb I mean NOT A BIG DEAL. Really. I'm not sticking up for myself - if I make a doozy, I'll admit it. But this mistake was something she could have totally just overlooked, took 3 extra seconds to fix what I did, and move on with life. You know, like I do EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. for other people, including her.

She instead chose to just send me a scathing e-mail lecturing me about "policy" and "procedure" and how I have made this mistake three times.

Really? Have I? Well, DON'T MAKE ME LIST THE MISTAKES YOU MAKE because we'll be here all day, lady!

I am proud to say that I hit the delete button instead of writing back what I really wanted to...and what will probably come out of my mouth before too long..........

In other news, Easter was very nice. We made our family rounds. First to Toby's grandparents' house - where my energy was drained from my body - and I don't have much to begin with.

See, his grandmother has a bad hip and needs a replacement...which I'm sure is just awful. HOWEVER, I firmly believe the outlook you have on life and your ATTITUDE totally plays a part in your health - and no wonder she is so "down." She is so incredibly negative. She is just waiting to die and it's all she talks about. From the looks of her and from the sounds of her, you would think she is in the final stages of death from AIDS or another horrific terminal disease. I don't really know how to deal with her because all she does is moan and cry about how she's dying and everyone around her is dying. And Toby CONTINUALLY leaves me alone with her while he goes in the yard with his Dad and Papaw and Uncles because none of THEM can be with her too long either. UGH! It's so sad and I wish I could change it...but unfortunately, SHE is the only one who can change it and I don't see that happening very soon. I kind of think she LIKES the attention. Let's just say there is a history of drama in that Fam.

After that LOOOONG visit, we went to my Mimi's house and then to my Nanny's house which were both MUCH more upbeat and lively. :) Lots of kids and egg hunts and food.

When we got home, Toby and I sat on the front porch and talked and watched the storm coming for a couple hours. It was nice to unwind from all of the visiting.

And in other news, I am feeling better!! I have not been sick since last Wednesday. The new medicine cocktail must be finally working!! I was scared to talk about it until now for fear of jinxing myself....but maybe now it's time to realize that I AM feeling better and I can sort of get back to life. Like if my boss will ever come out of his office, I can tell him I'm leaving to go to the GROCERY STORE! (Haven't done that in forever - and it's one of my favorite places!)

I'm easily pleased.

Just call me Gaggy McSickerson. STILL!!

Just a quick update on my gagging condition...

The first two days of taking the Aciphex were ok...I was hopeful! But I went downhill on Saturday and was sick all day long. My Mom told me on Friday that my brother and the band would be coming through Richmond for just a few hours on their way to Florida so I met my family for lunch but that was less than pleasant (not the company; just the gags.) I got sick at the restaurant and then sick again at Mom and Dad's house when we stopped by.... Ugh. I went home and got in the bed and stayed there until Sunday.

Sunday was better but not good. I had lunch with Toby's aunt and then she came back to the house and we chatted for a bit...and I was trying to be sociable (because I wanted to be!) but it was hard.

On Monday I called the GI Specialist back and told him what was going on and he put me on a new regime of medicine:

1 Aciphex in the AM, 30 minutes before I eat
Some yummy (ha) syrupy medicine called Carafate 4 times a day
1 Zantac at 4 or 5pm, when I start to feel bad

All this and I'm still not getting better. It's Wednesday so I'm going to give it a week. The GI Specialist wants to hear from me on Monday.

I have pretty much come to the conclusion that my only cure will be giving birth. I believe that my organs are all getting smooshed up in my short torso; and I'm sure my bad posture doesn't help. As Stella gets bigger, this is only going to get horribly worse, I'm afraid. I mean, I could DEAL with heartburn. It's the gagging and throwing up that has me house bound.

Sigh. Oh well. I'll forget all this when I see her little face. Right? :)

D.O.N.E.

I am really sick and tired (literally) of feeling like I have to justify myself and my decisions to do things (or not do things) because of how I feel. I wish certain people would just believe me when I say "I don't feel well" and leave me alone and not make me feel like I need to fall all over myself trying to explain my actions and/or decisions. I wish people would stop saying things like "well it's just part of being pregnant." Bite me.

I am sick. I have been for 5 months solid. You are not in my shoes. No one is. Except me. Even women who have been pregnant. Our experiences are all different. You do not know how I feel. I'm sorry (not really) that I am annoying to you. And that I ruin everyone's grand plans.

Maybe we could trade places for a few days and you'll then get a better understanding of why I don't leave my house except for work, or the occassional meal out with friends - which afterwards I have to speed home so I can throw up at home and not in a bag in my car on the side of the interstate.

So, I am done. I'm done feeling guilty. I'm done crying because I feel guilty. I'm done worrying about how to pacify others. I'm DONE.

Thanks.

Burnin' down the house

It's 5:14 pm on Thursday, April 6 and MY CHEST IS BURNING OFF OF MY BODY.

Sigh.

I had my long-awaited appt with the GI Specialist yesterday. It actually went very well. He seemed to listen to me and was very understanding and felt sorry for me. :) He should!! He said that he would convince my OB that I needed the "real deal" medicine for the severe acid reflux, heartburn, etc because I had a bad case. No joke, brother! So he called my OB and they discussed it and it was determined that YES I can take the meds! (Which are totally baby-safe, by the way. OBs just don't like to prescribe much medication if they don't have to. The specialist convinced him he had to. Thank goodness.) The specialist told me that in a week, I will feel like a new person and my quality of life will improve 100%. I hope he is right! I wanted to hug him; but I held myself back. But I might send him a thank you card.

I started the new med (Aciphex) this morning. I only take one a day - as opposed to the "3 a day immediately after meals" Reglan that I was taking. I think my body is just going to have to build up the Aciphex before I start feeling really good. I can tell that I feel better today....but not great. Atleast I don't feel gaggy and like I'm going to throw up in my car on the way home! And that's a nice, new feeling!!

But the burn! Ouch!!!

Minor Irritants

1. The fact that the 3rd entry on this page has wrapped itself around the last picture in my 2nd entry and I can't figure out how to MAKE IT STOP is extremely irritating to me. Extremely.

2. Why do I always have "issues" with the cleaning person at work? Why? I'm quiet and nice and I say hi and thank you when they pick up my trash. Anyone remember GLORIA? (Stop laughing, Leslie.) This was my cleaning lady at my old building who would leave me post it notes on my computer to the tune of: "I borrowed your __________. I'll bring it back." One day, that blank was filled with NAIL CLIPPERS. I told her she could keep them. And actually, don't take shit off my desk!!! I won't even go into the "Oprah Magazine Fiasco." Well now at my new building, I have another fun individual who does not "borrow" things off my desk; but she NEVER SHUTS UP. And by never shuts up, I mean nevershutsupever. Here is an example conversation:
Her: Good Morning!
Me: Good Morning.
Her: Whew it's a pretty day outside. We need to be off and outside because it's a pretty day. Shoo it is so pretty.
Me: Yes it is.
Her: So so pretty. Days like this we need to be off.
Me: (Stares at computer like working really really hard.)
Her: So pretty it is. When I go out on the loading dock, I stay there as long as I can because it is just PRETTY!
Me: (Picks up phone and listens to dial tone.)
Her: Don't you think it's nice outside?
Me: MmmHmm
Her: I would like to be off today.
Me: You and everyone else in the building.
Her: Yeah me and everyone else who works for a living. Except people who work on the weekends too (and this goes into a rant about jobs on the weekend...........)
Me: Excuse me
...And I get up and go sit in the bathroom to let my boiling blood simmer down before my head explodes.
I am so grateful that she keeps my trash can from overflowing. I truly am. But please, SHUT THE HELL UP!!

3. People who I do not work for delegating their grunt work to me. And these are people are NOT superiors but think they are and that makes me want to shoot lazer beams out of my eyeballs at them. That's all I'll say about that one.

4. Pregnancy side-effects:
- The fact that I can't even eat 5 peach slices in the AM without getting sick.
- And that my nasal passages have shrunk to the circumference of toothpicks and I feel like I am suffocating all the time.
- My gums bleeding when I'm just sitting here. Gum disease, anyone?
- My thighs starting fires as they rub together like never before.
- My giant upper arms thinking they have a baby in each of them.
- I have never broken out this bad; and that includes high school.
- Double - I mean, quadruple - Chins
- And other unmentionables...............

But even though I am irritated today, I'm trying to keep my eye on the prize. But it sure does help to write stuff down! There's more irritating things in my life that I should write about on paper and keep to myself. Even though this is MY blog, I don't need to make public ALL of my irritants. But if you call me, I'll tell you. Ha!