My friend, Cornell

One of my best friends in college was Cornell.

Me and Cornell - circa 1996

We started hanging out at the end of my freshman year but I truly can not remember the first time we met. (Unlike the first time I met Denny - when we went to McDonalds with mutual friends and he made the Happy Meal prize animals "do it" on the table. Or the first time I met Ashley - when she was drunk and rolling around on the floor in the dorm hall yelling "I've got demons in my shoulder!" and I gave her a Tums and she spit it out at me. Or the first time I met Stacy Coggins - she was dancing down the hallway - she was ALWAYS dancing. Or the first time I met Yates - he skateboarded up to me outside of the Ice Cream Social, on my VERY first night of being at college. Or the first time I met Donnie - he was sitting on the steps outside of the auditorium and he hopped up and starting trying out his new "clogging shoes.")

ANYWAY! (Fond Lees-McRae memories.....)

Cornell and I became fast friends. We had a "group" that we hung out with but we had a special bond outside of the group. He was extremely good looking - like a model - and I was NOT. I was always intrigued that he would be such good friends with little old me. (I felt that way about Yates too...) But anyway, we were good friends - through all of his girlfriends (hi Tennille, love you!) and all of the rebellious times and all of the parties and the all-nighters and the raves and the drama........... I could write a book. My favorite Cornell memory is when we drove from Banner Elk to NYC for Spring Break 1997 and stayed with Cece in Queens... that was a blast. (And I can't tell you how many times we got stopped on the street because people thought he was that long-blond-haired Calvin Klein underwear model. Yeah - we never let him forget that one.)

We kept in good touch after graduation. He went to a small law school in Grundy, VA and Denny and I moved to Richmond, VA. He visited us a few times and we even went to Grundy to visit him. The good ol' boys of Grundy ain't used to flaming gay boys with purple fingernail polish. Cornell loved Denny to pieces, but he did make him take off the polish before we went out to eat at a diner in town - for his own safety, of course. We met up a few times in Banner Elk too... It was nice.

The last time I saw him was when Toby and I had FIRST started dating. It was one of the best weekends! I lived in Shockoe Bottom in my little-ass apartment and Ashley came to visit that weekend - and then Cornell called and he and his then-girlfriend-now-wife Mindi were going to come visit too. It was AWESOME!! It also just happened to be the annual Madonna-Thon at a club downtown, so we all went to that. Do you think Toby Creekmore would EVER attend a Madonna-Thon with me now? HELL NO. But he was in his "courtin" stage. Amazing what man will do to win a girl over.

It was at the Madonna-Thon that Cornell pulled me aside and gave me a speech.

Stephanie, do you like this guy?
Yes. A lot.
Me too - he seems cool as shit!
He is - Glad you like him.
I do! But if he ever hurts you, I will hunt him down and kill him. Understand?
Yes sir.
You tell him that too.
I will.
Ok then.

And sadly, that was the last time we saw each other or even talked!! I tried to call him a few times after that and left messages but never heard back. I was never sure WHAT happened - if it was "something" or if it was just LIFE, know what I mean? I have lost touch with several people because of LIFE. (Wasn't it John Lennon who said "Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans") Anyway...we lost touch...and now it's 4 years later and I married that boy that he said he would kill if he hurt me...and we have a daughter. And Cornell doesn't know either of those things have happened.

Cornell has been on my mind A LOT lately. For about a month or so. I put his name in 411.com and it gave me his parents address in Kingsport. I printed that out and have been carrying it around in my daytimer for weeks. This morning I came across it again and thought I would try to google him. I put his name into the search box and this came up:

Cornell's Dad

He died 3 weeks ago. No WONDER he has been heavy on my heart!!! It kind of gives me chills to think that I have been feeling a "vibe" or whatever. My heart is just broken over this today. I know how much he looked up to his Dad. I remember his Dad being VERY tough on him, but despite that, he always wanted to make him proud. I remember his Mom and Dad being so nice to me.

I signed the guestbook and I also just sent his Mom a card. To that address I have been carrying around in my daytimer. I really hope he gets in touch with me.