I am going to the gym. Today. At 5pm.

So, I am going to the gym today after work. At 5pm. Today. To the gym. Gold's Gym at Willow Lawn. I got a free pass for a week and I am going to check it out. Today. In one hour and 36 minutes. And I am going to walk on the treadmill. For 30 minutes. Today. At the gym.

(I figure the more I tell myself this (and tell everyone this) the less likely I am to just go the other way home to avoid the place like I have been doing for over a year....)

This weekend was pretty good. Friday night was a bust but in my new resolution to not re-hash things that make me anxious, I am not going to re-hash it. (Dont' worry, you aren't missing much.)

Saturday started at 6am when Stella got up. We got ready, both of us dressed and fed and in the car by 8am. Mom joined us and we headed to Aunt Cissy's in Farmville for the day. It was a nice day with the girls at a furniture auction - proceeds to benefit the school where Cissy is a teacher. Sunah scored a really cute "whatnot," Mom got a crockpot, and Jacob got a volleyball. And we ALL got to listen to a highly annoying and loud auctioneer for 4 hours. It was fun!!

We arrived home around 5pm and just chilled for the rest of the evening. I watched 3 episodes of Grey's Anatomy Season One from Netflix ("Nobody knows where they might end up..Nobody knows.....................") and ordered a thin crust pizza from Papa Johns. It was lovely.

On Sunday, I had an appt for a tour at Gold's Gym so Toby and Stella tagged along so we could run to Costco afterwards. When I got to Gold's, a young strapping boy in his 20's introduced himself and asked me to fill out some paperwork.

It asked what my reasons were for being there. I checked "Lose weight" and "Tone."

It asked how much weight I wanted to lose. I put "50 lbs."

It asked me on a scale of 1-10 how serious I am about reaching my goal. I put "10" - well, duh!

So he looks at my paper and comes back over to me and Toby and proceeds to announce to me, my husband, and the world "So you say you want to lose 50 pounds."

To which my husband yells "50 POUNDS!" Like he is in total shock.

Ummm. Nice.

So then the strapping young lad asks "When was the last time you were 50 lbs less?"

He was expecting a short answer I'm sure, but because I was already embarassed at this conversation in the first place, I launch into a total explanation of my weight issues since birth. I told him about how I used to be really really fat and then I did Body for Life and got into better shape but then got a boyfriend and gained some back so I joined Weight Watchers and lost some and was a nice size where I was happy at my wedding but then I started gaining weight for no reason so I had my thyroid checked and it came back normal but I was sent to an endocrinologist anyway and HE said I was fine too and it was really frustrating but then I got pregnant and I gained 36 lbs with the pregnancy and I have only lost 12 lbs since giving birth even though I have been back in WW since November and I am going to have my thyroid checked again on Monday so we'll see what happens since sometimes having a child does mess with your thyroid and I just need to add some exercise and maybe that will help this issue?

(Silence)

"So what time can I write down that you were 50 lbs less?"

I said "Middle school."

Then he asks "How do you feel right now being like you are..." He was struggling for the words - He should have just come out and said "What does it feel like to be a giant lump?"

I looked at him like he was an idiot. I mean, what is this?? I just want a freaking tour! So I said "Basically, I feel like crap."

"In what way?"

JESUS! "I don't have any energy. How's that?"

So he wrote that down. And then we went on the tour. It was a neat gym and I REALLY like the fact that they have a whole separate area of cardio and some weights JUST for women. That's where I am going this afternoon. At 5pm. When I go to the gym.

Sooooooooooooo, after the gym tour and interview of humiliation, we went to Costco to stock up on chicken breasts, ground beef, dog food, and laundry detergent, we headed home. I spent a couple hours weighing ground beef in 1 lb incriments and putting it in ziplocs for the freezer and cleaning out the fridge and organizing cabinets that had gotten out of control. Stella took a nap and Toby cleaned some and then spent some time in his garage. I browsed cookbooks and made a weekly menu and a grocery list and headed to Kroger. After that trip, I was home to STAY. I cooked dinner (which was nasty) and then watched the rest of Season One of Grey's so I can send the 2 discs back and start into Season Two. I AM SO INTO THIS SHOW!!! (I haven't had a favorite show since Six Feet Under ended.) But I have to say, if I heard "Nobody knows where they might end up..." one more time last night, my head was going to explode.

So anyway, this morning I went by the Dr to get some blood drawn to have my freaking thyroid checked AGAIN. I'm sure my diagnosis will come back as "You are fine. You are just a lazy fat ass." I'll keep you posted!

Now here is the MOST exciting news for this March 5, 2007: Today the world welcomes Molly June Surma weighing in at 7lbs 11oz. For those of you who were at my wedding, Molly's Dad was the awesome DJ and Molly's Mom was the lovely red-haired lady who sang our first dance. (They are also dear family friends.) Congrats to the Surma family and Happy Birthday Molly!!!