So I was driving into work this morning and thoughts of my past start coming up... you know how you do that...kind of daydreaming about the old days...and specific memories start filling my mind and they jump from one year to the next...from one event to the next...mostly these memories are from college...or from when I lived with Denny in the Fan - you know, the PARTY years...and I'm just thinking and remembering and...cringing.
I am an idiot. A big fat idiot!! I mean, why didn't anyone ever tell me?!?!?! I was thinking about stupid stuff I've done, things I said, things I WORE (Good God -that's where I have the most charges against me...) And I just CRINGE. Like there is anything I can do about it now... But this is the kind of stuff that will keep me up at night!!
I mean, AT THE TIME, I thought I was the bee's knees. (What the hell does that mean anyway?) But really, I thought I was SO COOL. What was I smoking? (Don't answer that!)
Anyway, I had to FORCE my mind to go elsewhere and not dwell on that stuff right now!! All of my memories - esp of college - are treasured and I really would not change a thing... but DANG! How embarassing!!
If I knew you back then and we are still friends - Thank you. Thank you for overlooking my gigantic idiotic tendencies and bad decision making skills. I'm better now.
Soooo, the EYE's have it. The saga continues.
My FIRST Eye Doctor appt was a few weeks ago. This is what happened:
- Exam = really bad eyes.
- Contact Prescription = -13 for the left and -11 for the right.
- Glasses Prescription = -14.75 for the left and -13 for the right.
- Am told that Acuvue 2 (the disposables I have been wearing for years and years) only goes up to -12 power. Must buy "Special Ordered" contacts now. They will get a trial pair in and I can try them out next appointment.
- Go that evening to Lenscrafters and order new glasses (see previous blog about that experience)
Fast forward a week later, I get a call "Your glasses are in." I go pick them up. Want to shoot self. Thick as hell. And still blurry vision. And cost $575. (I paid $370 out of pocket.)
Fast Forward 2 weeks later for the SECOND Eye Doctor appt. I take the glasses in for him to look at and I tell him "I still can't see too good out of them." He says "Really? That's strange. Let's examine you again." So he does another eye exam and apparently the power I was asking for last time is too much... My left eye is back at what is was before - back down to a -12. That's weird.
He also lets me try on the "Special Ordered" contacts and they are too strong as well now. Great. But I wear them home anyway - they are my "trial pair."
So he re-writes my prescription for my glasses and for the contacts. Since my power went back down to -12 in the left eye, I don't HAVE to do the "Special Ordered" contacts anymore if I don't want to. I can go back to the Acuvue 2 ones that I can get for $40 every 3 months on 1-800 contacts.com. Just for good measure, his receptionist tells me the price of the "Special Ordered" ones incase I still want to go with them... They are a measly $300 for year's supply. I proceeded to pee my pants and tell her that I'll go with the Acuvue's while I still can. She orders the Acuvues to arrive next week. Ok! See ya then!
So I go BACK to Lenscrafters and have them remake the glasses with the "new" (lower) prescription and I actually pick out different frames because frankly, those other ones looked like ASS. I pick some heavier, plastic ones that will cover up the thickness better and I also have the side of the lenses polished. That should help.
Ok - days later - glasses are in - pick them up - I like.
Monday of this week I go BACK to the Dr. for the THIRD time because they call and my new Acuvue's are in.
And here is where my idiot legacy continues...................
The receptionist hands me the Acuvue's and I sit at the little table and I take out the $300-trial-pair-that-were-too-strong and I put in the Acuvue's that are the "right" prescription.
I can't see a damn thing out of the left eye. It's like I don't even have a contact in!!!
I tell Dr. McGarry this and he looks puzzled and says "Ok, let's check this out again." So I hop in the chair and he puts that big thing on my face and I look through the lenses and do the "which is better? 1 or 2" thing for awhile and basically the result is my eyes are BACK AT THE HIGH POWER AGAIN!! DAMNIT! (Take note: my right eye is peachy keen this whole time....)
At this point, Dr. McGarry wants to shoot me in the face, I am convinced. But he's REALLY cool about it. He says that he thinks my eyes just strain so hard all the time because they are so bad that they go up and down due to exhaustion. He said that we'll split the difference and go with a -12.5. So that bumps me BACK up to the $300 contact - shit! But oh well. I'll deal. I'll just steal from Stella's piggy bank.
So, he says to go back out to the little table and take out the Acuvue's (which now are worth nothing) and put the $300-trial-pair-that-were-too-strong BACK in so he can look at them again. So I sit at the little table and take out the left Acuvue and put in the expensive contact...then I put in the expensive contact in the right eye.
And I can't see a damn thing. It's like I don't have a contact in my RIGHT eye now!!!
I fidget with it and move it around. By now I look like a raccoon with all the mascara and eyeliner that has melted off my eyelid. WTF?? So I yell, "Dr. McGarry! I can't see out of these contacts now and I was wearing them when I got here and they were fine!!" I'm all panicky. So he comes out and says "Goodness, well let's take a look!" So I hop up in the chair and he casually says "You didn't put one contact over top of the other one did you?"
Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit.
I didn't even say a word. I just got up from the chair and walked back to the little table and took out the TWO FRICKING CONTACTS out of my DAMN EYE and then came back into the exam room. He said "People do that all the time. Don't worry about it!"
I said "Thanks for trying."
So, the moral of the story is, when I see any of you people in the future, you better compliment me on my awesome glasses or my contacts (even though you can't see them) because this has been one HELL of an ordeal!!!!
And if you made it this far, I compliment YOU.
Love,
The idiot, S.T.C.
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