SCREAM!!!!!!!!
So I just called the Dr. about my thyroid blood test and OF COURSE it was fine again. But my cholesteral was a little high - 226 (I don't even know what the normal range is...never had issues there) and the nurse told me that the Dr. told her that I need to work on a low-fat diet.
Well, FUCK! What have I been doing for the past 5 fucking years??? Excuse my french but this has just sent me over the edge. I am so sick of this.
The last time I saw this Dr. was when I was 6 months pregnant...and the time before that was my first time ever seeing him and I went to him with the same issue - trying really hard to lose weight and it just wasn't coming off. Basically he told me NOTHING other than he would write me a prescription for Xenecal but a side effect of that was pooping your pants. I said no thanks.
So now, it's 1.5 years later and he tells me to work on a low fat diet.
That's what I have been DOING since November, you shithead. Want me to print out my food journals for ya? Be glad too. I don't eat real mayo, or real cheese, or real salad dressing, or real butter, or real sour cream. I don't eat real refried beans or ice cream or soda. I don't drink ANY soda. I drink crystal lite and coffee. I even use fucking fat free half and half. I eat grilled chicken and ground turkey instead of beef. I use FF cooking spray. I eat BAKED chips and low fat Fiber One bars and fat free popcorn. I eat french fries once a month MAYBE. I eat weight control oatmeal for breakfast for GOD'S SAKE.
I can't enjoy anything I stick in my mouth because I analyze it and dwell on it. I can't function like a normal human because I keep daydreaming about my size 16 pants that are out in tubs in the shed and I guess I'll never get to wear them again because I can't lose a fucking pound to save my life!
I'm sorry.
I'm mad.
I need to go meditate.
I'm sooooooooooooooooo over this battle.
4 comments:
Sorry you're feeling so crappy about this right now. I TOTALLY get where you're coming from. They all want to say lose weight, work on this yada yada but they don't really want to tell you how the hell to do it.
I had a fertility specialist tell me I needed to lose weight to get pregnant. I was SO PISSED. HELLO...I am not THAT overweight and there are plenty of FAT PREGNANT people out there. WHat the F! Well, screw him and the boat he rode in on because we conceived Lindsay all on our own. I also was heavier when we conceived than when that POS told me to lose weight. (2.5 years of trying to get pregnant will do that to you). So, now I am back in weight watchers and I have all my baby weight off and I'm working on my depression over trying to get pregnant weight. Sorry this is so long but your post got me riled up. Probably TMI but I just want you to know you aren't alone! hang in there girl!
One thing you may want to think about is going back to some things with FAT. Not snickers bars and french fries...but you know I have heard that too much FAT FREE is bad too. Just because it is f/f doesn't always mean less calories. Also GOOD fat is needed to lose weight. I started eating the red label Yoplait yogurts (4 points) instead of the f/f blue labels (2 points) because they taste better and it's GOOD FAT. My WW leader has also said that when you have a couple of bad weeks where you don't lose or only lose .4 go eat a high fat meal...ONCE... and then go back on program. Sometimes your body needs the fat.
Think about it. I don't eat a lot of mayo so when I do I count the real stuff...I also don't eat FF cheese...I'd rather count it and enjoy it. Maybe try making some changes on a few things that you really would like anyway and see if it helps. Just my humble advice.
Take it easy!
Steph, Chris makes a good point in her second post. I have had the best success when I have one day a week where I eat whatever I want. I don't tend to go TOO nuts simply because it makes me feel gross, but I eat real cheese and count it. I eat Dukes Light mayo, and count it. Light, not FF. I think if your body isn't getting any/much fat at all, maybe it holds onto stuff more? On the same thought-path, I think when it gets used to only 25 points a day it just readjusts itself to that. Shocking it with a 35 or even 40 point day once a week has always led me to the best losses. Just an idea. Hang in there and know you're LOVED, no matter what your size!!!!
hello. i got your blog from Chris' links and i LOVE it, man! you are a great writer.perfect sarcasm and well timed smart ass remarks! my kinda gal! anyways, i hope you don't mind that i lurked a bit and left a comment. Your daughter is adorable and you are gorgeous yourself.... awesome blog. :)
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