Conversation 1
Toby: Who do you love?
Stella: Mama
Toby: (acts sad) Do you love me?
Stella: Now! (when she's being cute, her "no" sounds a lot like a drawn-out "nooooww!")
Toby (trying again): Who do you love?
Stella: Mama (short pause to think).... and the Simpsons.
Conversation 2
Toby calls me at work around 4:30 yesterday.
Toby: Hey! I'm just leaving the shop now. I hit a deer on the way back to the shop today!
Me: What? Are you ok?
Toby: Oh yeah, I'm fine. The deer is dead.
Me: Awww
Toby: Yeah, one swift blow to the head with a sledge hammer.
Me: WHAT?!?!?!
Toby: Well Stephanie, it would have been cruel to leave it on the side of the road with 2 back legs broken!
Me: Ugh. (Putting right hand over face and lowering head down to desk.)
Toby: Yeah. So we took it back to the shop and gutted and cleaned it......
Me interrupting: OH MY GOD. What?!?!
Toby: That's some good meat! I wasn't just going to leave it there! Dusty took the ribs and Drew took the hind-quarter and I got 2 tenderloins and the left shoulder...the right shoulder was where I hit it with the sledge hammer, that meat was too bruised to take.
Me: Ummm. GROSS.
Toby: You don't know what you're missing.
Phone conversation ends and I hang up. I yell to my cube mate "KRISTIE!!!!"
She comes running "What?!?"
Me: I married a redneck.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Halloween 2008
I kind of feel like a failure again this year. We didn't go to the pumpkin farm. I got our pumpkin during a quick trip to Kroger. We didn't carve it at all. We were BLESSED with a pumpkin my Aunt Sunah brought over that she had decorated with a spider web and a "Pider" and that was the extent of our pumpkins this year. We hung one little decoration inside and put up the skull walkway lights outside - and that was a HUGE event. This past week at work (well, past WEEKS at work) have been so screwy, I let my home life and the traditions I WANT to make go to the back-burner.
So that's my whining for today. I'm not going to focus on this - I will just say NEXT YEAR our A$$ES will be the first ones at Ashland Berry Farm and we are going to take the hayride to the field and let Stella pick out her own pumpkin and then we'll carve it and make it a big fiesta. And that's the plan.
And now I will tell you what DID happen this Halloween. The CUTEST little witch came to town! Complete with pink PIDERS and pink dreadlocks. And a cauldron and a Harry Potter broom.
She had a blast trick-or-treating on our street. She really understood it this year and was so excited ALL DAY to get out and get candy. She told Toby she wanted candy for dinner before we went out. She was ready to go! Although when one person opened their door, she said "Happy Birthday."
Toby's Dad joined us Halloween night...
Here is a video of her talking about her pumpkin and the "pider."
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books
And here is one of her digging into her chocolate stash...
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books
So that's my whining for today. I'm not going to focus on this - I will just say NEXT YEAR our A$$ES will be the first ones at Ashland Berry Farm and we are going to take the hayride to the field and let Stella pick out her own pumpkin and then we'll carve it and make it a big fiesta. And that's the plan.
And now I will tell you what DID happen this Halloween. The CUTEST little witch came to town! Complete with pink PIDERS and pink dreadlocks. And a cauldron and a Harry Potter broom.
She had a blast trick-or-treating on our street. She really understood it this year and was so excited ALL DAY to get out and get candy. She told Toby she wanted candy for dinner before we went out. She was ready to go! Although when one person opened their door, she said "Happy Birthday."
Toby's Dad joined us Halloween night...
Here is a video of her talking about her pumpkin and the "pider."
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books
And here is one of her digging into her chocolate stash...
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Think I should sign her up for dance?
My parents had a big Fall Festival gathering for family and friends on Sunday and my Dad's band played. Stella danced ALL OVER that party. Proof:
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books
In the first video, you hear Toby say "Have you ever seen Elaine from Seinfeld dance?" Do you see a resemblance with the KICK? :)
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books
In the first video, you hear Toby say "Have you ever seen Elaine from Seinfeld dance?" Do you see a resemblance with the KICK? :)
Monday, October 27, 2008
You know it will be a good Monday when you...
...get STUCK IN THE REVOLVING DOOR of the MAIN entrance to your giant Headquarters building.
We have to scan our badges for the door to revolve once. You better hop in when it starts going. This morning I get up to the door and it's already revolving so I think "Hmmm, must be a new thing." so I scan my badge and hop in and...it suddenly screaches to a halt complete with loud beeps and an electronic lady saying "Door will reverse. Door will reverse."
Damn! So I wait and the door starts reversing so I walk backwards as it goes...and it opens just enough for my big honking gym bag to go outside the door BUT THEN THE DOOR STARTS GOING FORWARD AGAIN and my gym back is outside and I am inside... so now the door is REALLY stuck.
Me: inside
Gym Bag: outside
Electronic lady: "Door will now move forward."
Oh my GOD!
So I am looking at the security desk through 3 panes of glass and making a face like "WHAT THE EFF" because my hands are so full, I can't wave. In addition to the massive gym back which is now hanging OUTSIDE the door, I also have my purse, my laptop bag, a pyrex dish that I was returning to my friend Cyndy, my lunch bag, AND 2 thirty-0ne bags with orders for co-workers.
So it tries to go forward some more but it can't because the gym bag is holding it back.... so it goes backwards again....but only opens enough to keep my gym bag hostage outside, but not open enough to let me out!!
So, horror of all horrors, I turn around and the next person in line to come in the door behind me is the PRESIDENT of my company. My very large world-renowned company.
He is saying "What can I do to help?" and I'm yelling "I'm stuck in the door!"
Well, duh.
So when the door pushes me in reverse, AGAIN, it opens enough for him to stick his hand in and get the strap of my gym bag and I also hand him another one of my bags...
"Door will move forward" and then "Door will reverse" so when it reverses again, I send him the pyrex and my lunch bag... "Door will move forward."
REPEAT LIKE 5 MORE TIMES.
I'm glad I can't send you the emotions I was feeling at that moment because YOU WOULD DIE.
So the security guard finally comes over and gets the door to stop and let me OUT - back into the outside air where Mr. President is holding all of my belongings. She then announces that we all need to use this other side door because my "situation" has caused the whole thing to go "off-line."
Now, three guards are there checking badges before letting people in since the scanner is "off-line" and I am mortified...but not so mortified that I don't turn around and tell Mr. President "HAPPY MONDAY!!" and walk towards the escalator with my 3029476320967 bags and a beet red face.
And wondering why the HELL I picked today to get back in the gym....
We have to scan our badges for the door to revolve once. You better hop in when it starts going. This morning I get up to the door and it's already revolving so I think "Hmmm, must be a new thing." so I scan my badge and hop in and...it suddenly screaches to a halt complete with loud beeps and an electronic lady saying "Door will reverse. Door will reverse."
Damn! So I wait and the door starts reversing so I walk backwards as it goes...and it opens just enough for my big honking gym bag to go outside the door BUT THEN THE DOOR STARTS GOING FORWARD AGAIN and my gym back is outside and I am inside... so now the door is REALLY stuck.
Me: inside
Gym Bag: outside
Electronic lady: "Door will now move forward."
Oh my GOD!
So I am looking at the security desk through 3 panes of glass and making a face like "WHAT THE EFF" because my hands are so full, I can't wave. In addition to the massive gym back which is now hanging OUTSIDE the door, I also have my purse, my laptop bag, a pyrex dish that I was returning to my friend Cyndy, my lunch bag, AND 2 thirty-0ne bags with orders for co-workers.
So it tries to go forward some more but it can't because the gym bag is holding it back.... so it goes backwards again....but only opens enough to keep my gym bag hostage outside, but not open enough to let me out!!
So, horror of all horrors, I turn around and the next person in line to come in the door behind me is the PRESIDENT of my company. My very large world-renowned company.
He is saying "What can I do to help?" and I'm yelling "I'm stuck in the door!"
Well, duh.
So when the door pushes me in reverse, AGAIN, it opens enough for him to stick his hand in and get the strap of my gym bag and I also hand him another one of my bags...
"Door will move forward" and then "Door will reverse" so when it reverses again, I send him the pyrex and my lunch bag... "Door will move forward."
REPEAT LIKE 5 MORE TIMES.
I'm glad I can't send you the emotions I was feeling at that moment because YOU WOULD DIE.
So the security guard finally comes over and gets the door to stop and let me OUT - back into the outside air where Mr. President is holding all of my belongings. She then announces that we all need to use this other side door because my "situation" has caused the whole thing to go "off-line."
Now, three guards are there checking badges before letting people in since the scanner is "off-line" and I am mortified...but not so mortified that I don't turn around and tell Mr. President "HAPPY MONDAY!!" and walk towards the escalator with my 3029476320967 bags and a beet red face.
And wondering why the HELL I picked today to get back in the gym....
Thursday, October 23, 2008
A couple Stella-isms
I'm listening to Stella singing while she's playing with this little penguin squirty toy...
"Happy birtday to you. Happy birtday to you. Happy birtday ah penguin. Happy birtday to you."
And also...
"Twinkle Twinkle little dar. How I wonder what you are. Up above the world so high. Macaroni in the sky..."
She's so FUNNY. And smart as hell.
She's talking in full sentences more and more each day. My favorite thing she does right now is that she says "happy birthday" to EVERYONE. I think she thinks it's a term of affection.
Sometimes when I get her up in the mornings, she says "Happy Birthday, Mama" and gives me a big hug.
"Happy birtday to you. Happy birtday to you. Happy birtday ah penguin. Happy birtday to you."
And also...
"Twinkle Twinkle little dar. How I wonder what you are. Up above the world so high. Macaroni in the sky..."
She's so FUNNY. And smart as hell.
She's talking in full sentences more and more each day. My favorite thing she does right now is that she says "happy birthday" to EVERYONE. I think she thinks it's a term of affection.
Sometimes when I get her up in the mornings, she says "Happy Birthday, Mama" and gives me a big hug.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
This weekend...
This weekend was great. After work on Friday, I had a Thirty-One party. This was only my 2nd in-home show and my presentation went MUCH better than the first time...but I learned a lot this time too and will incorporate it into the next show. I can tell it will get better/easier with practice. It was a great show as far as sales - and the orders are still coming in, so that's wonderful... I had a nice time - the ladies are all so nice. I am actually enjoying THIS job.
We piddled around on Saturday and got stuff done in and around the house. We were actually very productive! Productive enough to where I did not feel guilty taking a nap while Stella did. When she got up, this was the outfit she insisted on wearing.
We went to Toby's Mom's house at 5pm for dinner. That was really nice and YUM - she made spaghetti. I snapped a pic of Toby and Stella walking to the car... Check out the purse. It was a MUST. Inside was a golf ball and a string of gold mardi gras beads. Necessities, I tell ya!
After dinner, Mimi was sliding Stella back and forth on the dining room table and Stella was laughing so hard... Doesn't take much to entertain her, huh?
Sunday morning came too early - I slept like a LOG! It was such a cozy night with the heat on and the humidifier going and the flannel pjs. I love it when it starts turning cold... But anyway, we got up and had breakfast at River City Diner with Cece who was in town. I wish I had taken a picture while we were there - duh! But here is Stella getting strapped into Dada's Jeep. SHE wanted to take the jeep so OF COURSE we had too... Spoiled much?
And the BIG NEWS of the weekend!!
We went to get Stella out of her crib this morning and she was sideways with both legs through the crib slats. Time to do something. So I remember my friend Leslie offered the use of her Toddler Bed when we loaned her our Superyard for her baby Jack. So, I texted her and asked if I could take her up on her offer. She called later and said "Come and get it!" so we did.
It was ugly for awhile.... It gets ugly every flipping time we have to assemble something as Toby is INCREDIBLY impatient and starts yelling at me to do something and of course I do it wrong and he gets short with me and I get upset and say "Stop yelling at me!" and he says "I'm not yelling!" and you get the idea.... As soon as the last screw goes into whatever we are trying to build, we are back to normal. Maybe some of you can identify?! :)
So, finished product: STELLA'S NEW BIG GIRL BED!!
A few minutes after all was said and done, I was in the kitchen and Toby was in the living room and Stella went running down the hall to her room and slammed the door. Toby walked down there and peaked in the door and she was lounging on the bed. He was like "What - is she 14 already? Running to her room and jumping on the bed. Does she have the phone with her?"
It's funny now, but she WILL be 14 before we know it..................
We piddled around on Saturday and got stuff done in and around the house. We were actually very productive! Productive enough to where I did not feel guilty taking a nap while Stella did. When she got up, this was the outfit she insisted on wearing.
We went to Toby's Mom's house at 5pm for dinner. That was really nice and YUM - she made spaghetti. I snapped a pic of Toby and Stella walking to the car... Check out the purse. It was a MUST. Inside was a golf ball and a string of gold mardi gras beads. Necessities, I tell ya!
After dinner, Mimi was sliding Stella back and forth on the dining room table and Stella was laughing so hard... Doesn't take much to entertain her, huh?
Sunday morning came too early - I slept like a LOG! It was such a cozy night with the heat on and the humidifier going and the flannel pjs. I love it when it starts turning cold... But anyway, we got up and had breakfast at River City Diner with Cece who was in town. I wish I had taken a picture while we were there - duh! But here is Stella getting strapped into Dada's Jeep. SHE wanted to take the jeep so OF COURSE we had too... Spoiled much?
And the BIG NEWS of the weekend!!
We went to get Stella out of her crib this morning and she was sideways with both legs through the crib slats. Time to do something. So I remember my friend Leslie offered the use of her Toddler Bed when we loaned her our Superyard for her baby Jack. So, I texted her and asked if I could take her up on her offer. She called later and said "Come and get it!" so we did.
It was ugly for awhile.... It gets ugly every flipping time we have to assemble something as Toby is INCREDIBLY impatient and starts yelling at me to do something and of course I do it wrong and he gets short with me and I get upset and say "Stop yelling at me!" and he says "I'm not yelling!" and you get the idea.... As soon as the last screw goes into whatever we are trying to build, we are back to normal. Maybe some of you can identify?! :)
So, finished product: STELLA'S NEW BIG GIRL BED!!
A few minutes after all was said and done, I was in the kitchen and Toby was in the living room and Stella went running down the hall to her room and slammed the door. Toby walked down there and peaked in the door and she was lounging on the bed. He was like "What - is she 14 already? Running to her room and jumping on the bed. Does she have the phone with her?"
It's funny now, but she WILL be 14 before we know it..................
Sunday, October 12, 2008
P.S. to the Poop in the Tub
Toby has been working 12-16 hour days every day this week. I have not seen him at all, really. On Thursday morning, he got in the shower and we were talking through the door while I was in the kitchen making coffee and packing my lunch.
All of I sudden he stops talking and goes "Ugggghhhhhhhhhh" to which I go running and say "What's wrong?" and he says:
"Did Stella shit the tub?!?"
My mind immediately races through all of the ways he could possibly know this since he was not home when it happened and I certainly hadn't had time to tell him. I realized he does not have ESP so the way he found out must.be.bad.
Apparently, a couple doo doo balls slipped by me and clogged up the drain. When his shower water started backing up, he put his finger in the drain and swirled it around to loosen the hair or whatever that had blocked it.
It wasn't hair this time, babe. Sorry 'bout that.
All of I sudden he stops talking and goes "Ugggghhhhhhhhhh" to which I go running and say "What's wrong?" and he says:
"Did Stella shit the tub?!?"
My mind immediately races through all of the ways he could possibly know this since he was not home when it happened and I certainly hadn't had time to tell him. I realized he does not have ESP so the way he found out must.be.bad.
Apparently, a couple doo doo balls slipped by me and clogged up the drain. When his shower water started backing up, he put his finger in the drain and swirled it around to loosen the hair or whatever that had blocked it.
It wasn't hair this time, babe. Sorry 'bout that.
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Today was a gross day
On 2 accounts...
1. I can't BELIEVE I am admitting this; much less posting in detail. But since I make a living (ha) sharing my embarrassing stories - here goes!
So, my right ear has been popping and feeling stopped up off and on for over a week. It really stops up at night when I am laying down. The weather has gotten colder this week and Stella and Toby have both had colds so I decided today that I really needed to get this checked out - just incase I have an ear infection or something.... So LUCKILY, my work has a Dr. on-site. Yes, we are spoiled. This is the one perk I LOVE because I don't have to leave the building if I need a quick check (like today) or if I need a prescription, etc... So, I go down to medical for them to check my ear. No biggie.
So, I get down there and they take my temp = no temperature. And he checks in my ears and the left if totally clear with no sign of infection. The right ear - there is no sign of infection but he sees a lot of wax. So now I'm about to DIE because I SWEAR ON MY LIFE I clean my ears atleast every other day. Infact, I use q-tips to "shape up" my liquid eyeliner so q-tips are always readily available - and I swear I use them. The doc says it looks like it's "a lot" and it's "really far down there" so he calls a nurse in to IRRIGATE my ear.
The words "ear" and "irrigation" should never be in the same sentence.
So, they make me hold this bowl under my ear and they get this giant syringe thing and shoot this liquid mixture into my ear. I felt like a gallon of water was being shot into my head and swirled around my brain. Apparently, the wax (gag!!) is supposed to come out but it didn't.
They had to "irrigate" three times.
Horrified.
THEN the doc dug in my ear and pulled out the biggest wad of wax. The nurse actually said "I have never seen that much come out before!"
Thanks a friggin lot.
HORRIFIED!!
So, after he pulled out my brain (it felt like it) I could hear in stereo. I swear to God I think I have Bose eardrums now. The clicking of the keyboard as I type this is so crisp and clear!
So, the lesson here is that q-tips don't quite work how you think they are working and sometimes they just push ear wax further down into your ear where it gets impacted and you have to have your ear irrigated in the medical clinic of your Fortune 500 company.
2. I ran Stella's bath water and threw her in the tub. I soaped her down and washed her hair and rinsed her off. After that, I usually let her sit in there for a bit and play... I stay in there with her but I stepped out for 2 seconds to go in the kitchen and start the dishwasher when I hear her yelling "Mama!" in an oddly panicked tone... So I go "What?" and she goes:
"Poo Poos!"
Mother%&#*Q)%#(*%^$*
So I walk in and sure enough! She's standing in the tub trying to get as far away from it as possible. Yeah sister, I agree.
Of course it wouldn't be an easy poop. I mean, OF COURSE NOT. It was like 35 little balls all floating in the soapy water amongst the multi-colored bathtub letters and squirty toys.
I'll spare you the rest of the details but it involves draining the tub, picking out doo doo balls, and lots and lots of bleach spray. LOTS.
And you should be thankful I didn't take a picture of it all and post it because I really really thought it about.
1. I can't BELIEVE I am admitting this; much less posting in detail. But since I make a living (ha) sharing my embarrassing stories - here goes!
So, my right ear has been popping and feeling stopped up off and on for over a week. It really stops up at night when I am laying down. The weather has gotten colder this week and Stella and Toby have both had colds so I decided today that I really needed to get this checked out - just incase I have an ear infection or something.... So LUCKILY, my work has a Dr. on-site. Yes, we are spoiled. This is the one perk I LOVE because I don't have to leave the building if I need a quick check (like today) or if I need a prescription, etc... So, I go down to medical for them to check my ear. No biggie.
So, I get down there and they take my temp = no temperature. And he checks in my ears and the left if totally clear with no sign of infection. The right ear - there is no sign of infection but he sees a lot of wax. So now I'm about to DIE because I SWEAR ON MY LIFE I clean my ears atleast every other day. Infact, I use q-tips to "shape up" my liquid eyeliner so q-tips are always readily available - and I swear I use them. The doc says it looks like it's "a lot" and it's "really far down there" so he calls a nurse in to IRRIGATE my ear.
The words "ear" and "irrigation" should never be in the same sentence.
So, they make me hold this bowl under my ear and they get this giant syringe thing and shoot this liquid mixture into my ear. I felt like a gallon of water was being shot into my head and swirled around my brain. Apparently, the wax (gag!!) is supposed to come out but it didn't.
They had to "irrigate" three times.
Horrified.
THEN the doc dug in my ear and pulled out the biggest wad of wax. The nurse actually said "I have never seen that much come out before!"
Thanks a friggin lot.
HORRIFIED!!
So, after he pulled out my brain (it felt like it) I could hear in stereo. I swear to God I think I have Bose eardrums now. The clicking of the keyboard as I type this is so crisp and clear!
So, the lesson here is that q-tips don't quite work how you think they are working and sometimes they just push ear wax further down into your ear where it gets impacted and you have to have your ear irrigated in the medical clinic of your Fortune 500 company.
2. I ran Stella's bath water and threw her in the tub. I soaped her down and washed her hair and rinsed her off. After that, I usually let her sit in there for a bit and play... I stay in there with her but I stepped out for 2 seconds to go in the kitchen and start the dishwasher when I hear her yelling "Mama!" in an oddly panicked tone... So I go "What?" and she goes:
"Poo Poos!"
Mother%&#*Q)%#(*%^$*
So I walk in and sure enough! She's standing in the tub trying to get as far away from it as possible. Yeah sister, I agree.
Of course it wouldn't be an easy poop. I mean, OF COURSE NOT. It was like 35 little balls all floating in the soapy water amongst the multi-colored bathtub letters and squirty toys.
I'll spare you the rest of the details but it involves draining the tub, picking out doo doo balls, and lots and lots of bleach spray. LOTS.
And you should be thankful I didn't take a picture of it all and post it because I really really thought it about.
More MCS pictures by Aunt Linda
Her pictures are the best!
Cousin Katie, Nanny, and Uncle Keith...enjoying the show!
Tony!
More Justin...
Matt and his proud Nanny - the coolest grandma to sit through 3 screaming rock bands to get to see her grandson.
Cousin Katie, Nanny, and Uncle Keith...enjoying the show!
Tony!
More Justin...
Matt and his proud Nanny - the coolest grandma to sit through 3 screaming rock bands to get to see her grandson.
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Kings Dominion
My company had their annual "Employee Appreciation Day" at Kings Dominion a few weeks ago. We took Toby's sister Kim and her daughter Kendall with us... Not much to say other than we spent the entire day in KIDDIE LAND and the girls had a blast! We even saw "Dora the Explorer - LIVE" which was probably the highlight of Stella's life thus far... Here are pictures from the day!
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