You know it will be a good Monday when you...

...get STUCK IN THE REVOLVING DOOR of the MAIN entrance to your giant Headquarters building.

We have to scan our badges for the door to revolve once. You better hop in when it starts going. This morning I get up to the door and it's already revolving so I think "Hmmm, must be a new thing." so I scan my badge and hop in and...it suddenly screaches to a halt complete with loud beeps and an electronic lady saying "Door will reverse. Door will reverse."

Damn! So I wait and the door starts reversing so I walk backwards as it goes...and it opens just enough for my big honking gym bag to go outside the door BUT THEN THE DOOR STARTS GOING FORWARD AGAIN and my gym back is outside and I am inside... so now the door is REALLY stuck.

Me: inside
Gym Bag: outside
Electronic lady: "Door will now move forward."

Oh my GOD!

So I am looking at the security desk through 3 panes of glass and making a face like "WHAT THE EFF" because my hands are so full, I can't wave. In addition to the massive gym back which is now hanging OUTSIDE the door, I also have my purse, my laptop bag, a pyrex dish that I was returning to my friend Cyndy, my lunch bag, AND 2 thirty-0ne bags with orders for co-workers.

So it tries to go forward some more but it can't because the gym bag is holding it back.... so it goes backwards again....but only opens enough to keep my gym bag hostage outside, but not open enough to let me out!!

So, horror of all horrors, I turn around and the next person in line to come in the door behind me is the PRESIDENT of my company. My very large world-renowned company.

He is saying "What can I do to help?" and I'm yelling "I'm stuck in the door!"

Well, duh.

So when the door pushes me in reverse, AGAIN, it opens enough for him to stick his hand in and get the strap of my gym bag and I also hand him another one of my bags...

"Door will move forward" and then "Door will reverse" so when it reverses again, I send him the pyrex and my lunch bag... "Door will move forward."

REPEAT LIKE 5 MORE TIMES.

I'm glad I can't send you the emotions I was feeling at that moment because YOU WOULD DIE.

So the security guard finally comes over and gets the door to stop and let me OUT - back into the outside air where Mr. President is holding all of my belongings. She then announces that we all need to use this other side door because my "situation" has caused the whole thing to go "off-line."

Now, three guards are there checking badges before letting people in since the scanner is "off-line" and I am mortified...but not so mortified that I don't turn around and tell Mr. President "HAPPY MONDAY!!" and walk towards the escalator with my 3029476320967 bags and a beet red face.

And wondering why the HELL I picked today to get back in the gym....