Pictures Galore!

I've always been a fan of food. That is no secret. I've also been overweight my entire life. Well, maybe I wasn't overweight up until age 4 or so....but I saw some kindergarten pictures of me the other day and I was already chubbier than the other kids. It caused me great strife for most of my life....I guess I can say that I was upset by it until Toby. He taught me to love myself - we never had sit-down discussions about it....just through his love and his actions, he taught me that it wasn't life's "end all/be all." And he's right.

However.

I do still think about dieting and getting in shape. Or rather my LACK of dieting and getting in shape. I was pretty dedicated to a healthy lifestyle before I got pregnant. But when you get pregnant, you CAN'T diet. I ate pretty healthy but I also didn't WORRY about it...... and that was so FREE-ING.

So I'm not pregnant anymore and the food issues are coming back. But I'm not doing anything about it. My mind is so not THERE. In order to succeed in this weight loss game, your mind has to be in the right place....and mine is not. I don't want to count points or calories or fat grams. I don't want to write anything down. I don't necessarily want to go out and eat 3 pints of Ben and Jerry's...but I also don't want to WORRY about it.

The point of my ramblings is this.... I'd like to lose some pounds so I can fit into my old clothes. And those clothes were NOT small, people. I only need to lose about 20 lbs to get to pre-preg weight. Not that big of a deal....

But the damn SWEETS keep haunting me. It used to be that carbs were my thing - give me a bag of chips and some dip and watch it disappear. Nowadays, I can't get enough cookies. Infact, what made me blog about any of this is that I just went to the cafeteria and bought lunch:

A Turkey Burger on a Wheat Bun with tomatoes

A bag of Baked Lays

Water

...and 3 cookies in a little cellophane bag.

Why? When my mind was completely in Weight Watcher or Body for Life zone, I NEVER would have caved. Lately? Who gives a shit. And that's not good.

AND, in addition to the 3 cookies in the little cellophane bag, there is also a cinnamon bun the size of my head sitting on my desk. Leftover from a meeting. And I'm probably going to eat it.

So, I guess the point of this rant about food and sweets is that

1. My mind is not THERE yet.

2. I'm not going to beat myself up over it.

3. I will get there eventually.

4. Cookies are good.

5. Giant cinnamon buns are good too. And I'm going to eat it. After I eat my cookies.


So, on to other important topics......

I finally finished mailing those SHITS I blogged about in the last entry. What a rip. I realized the other day that work makes me say "I hate people" a lot.

Last week, the entire HR department was off-site for Wed, Thurs, and Fri. On Wednesday we had an all-day meeting at the Downtown Convention Center. A month ago, we were all asked to complete the Clifton's StrengthFinder test (kind of like a Myers Briggs type thing...) and we spent the day learning about the different strengths and about our individual strengths and how it affects our work lives and personal lives... and all this was pretty interesting and insightful. BUT (and here comes the pessimist in me) when are we ever going to do something like this and have it STICK. When are we actually going to USE these insights back in the office? Never! For a day, we are all touchy feely and we think things like "Oh, I have this quality so that is why I work this way - and that person has THAT quality so that's why they are the way they are..." Whatever! All of this stuff flies out the window as soon as the day is over. If any of the management actually cared, they would request that everyone e-mail their strengths to them so they could see what all of their people are. That's what I would do if I was a manager and I wanted to learn more about my people and to keep this "StrengthFinder" stuff going...But, I doubt anyone has done that. Sad, but true.

On Thursday, we all went to Camp Baker for "Community Day." 200+ of us took over the camp and did whatever needed to be done to fix it up. Paint picnic tables (that was me!), paint outside, paint inside, rake, plant trees, powerwash, clean up, organize the offices, rebuild things, etc... We truly are powerful when all of us chip in some man-power to get things done.

On Friday, we were back at the convention center for another presenter to speak to us about "Innovation." MAN, WAS HE CUTE!! :) Seriously, he was not bad to look at and that was refreshing - but he was also a great speaker and an amazing artist. He did a couple paintings there...and his topics around innovation were eye-opening to me. Especially what he had to say about children and how their minds are so free until we SQUASH them with our rigid rules. For real. It made me think.

Check him out! ERIC WAHL

The meeting ended at 12:30 on Friday which was WONDERFUL. I picked Stella up early and we just hung around the house. She's having spells of crying lately and I really think it's her teeth. She's a trooper and doesn't make a fuss for too long. I give her some Baby Oragel and that usually helps. So we just layed on the waterbed and watched Baby Stories all Friday afternoon.

She's starting to flip over as soon as you lay her flat on the floor. She just can't flip BACK over yet - and that is funny to watch (and listen to - she grunts!)



She's "talking" a lot and she's starting to belly laugh. She's also starting to manipulate things - if you hand her something, she'll hold onto it and move it around and look at it. For example, here she is with a death grip on Daddy's beard.



It's so interesting to watch her grow. It's nothing I'm doing!!! It's amazing to watch nature happen.

On Saturday, Stella and I went to the Fan and visited with Denny for a bit! She made sure to do a big ol poop at his house which was nice. Then we went to Target and strolled around for a couple hours. I loved it. We were in no rush. No place we had to be. Stella napped on and off in the cart and I spent too much money. PERFECT.

We came home and we all just piddled around the house. Stella had a lot of "Daddy Time" on Saturday afternoon because it was officially "HIS NIGHT TO WATCH THE BABY SO I COULD DO WHAT I WANT IN PEACE." I don't get many times like that these days...which is 100% a-ok with me - but some peaceful cleaning time and peaceful computer time was nice.

During "Daddy Time," he figured out a way for Stella to get 2 of her favorite things at once: To sit in the Bumbo and Rock at the same time. He's a GENIUS!


On Sunday, Dee and Sarah Ellett came to Mom and Dad's house for lunch and met Stella for the first time. Stella fell in love with Dee - all babies do. Shoot, all adults do. And all animals. She is just the kindest human being I have ever known....



On Sunday night, Sunah, Nancy, Mimi, and Jacob came by to get Sunah's b-day present and to check out our new living room furniture:


Mimi was holding Stella and I realized how dang big she has gotten. Check out the comparison:

In August:


In November:


It's going by too fast, kids. WAY too fast. And that's what is important. Life. My daughter. Family. Enjoying every moment. NOT worrying about 3 cookies and a cinnamon roll (Although they were damn good. :)