Emotions

I have been kicking myself every day this week for not updating this blog yet... I need to post about our awesome, amazing, wonderful baby shower that was thrown for us this past Sunday. It truly was a great day.

But then 2 things happened that have trumped this and have taken a hold of all of my thoughts and prayers. I will update about the baby shower and my wonderful family and friends in the next few days...but right now I want to talk about my friends.

Some of you know the story of Nikki and Josh and baby Aaron because I e-mailed a horde of you a few weeks ago and asked for prayers. Aaron was born at 25 weeks and he weighed a little bit over 1 pound. For the past month, I have been following their blog which they updated often with news of Aaron.

Aaron's Blog

I "met" Nikki on my message board that I have been an active member of for nearly 4 years now... I think... Time flies! But these girls are my family and Nikki and I were due around the same time - so Aaron and Stella were going to be born pretty darn close together and Nikki and I shared our pregnancy ups and downs on the board. Nikki ended up with preeclampsia and Aaron was born by emergency c-section.

Yesterday, Aaron passed away after fighting hard for over a month. I am constantly thinking of Josh and Nikki and their families (who are obviously AWESOME - just read the comments on their blog.) I'm praying like a madwoman over here that they will get through this difficult time and will lean on each other for support. And come to us girls on the board for ANYTHING if they need it.

So, I spent last night at home looking at Aaron's pictures and thinking about the Youngs.

Today, there is a new post on the board from another dear friend, Chantel. All of us girls were hounding her for the past couple weeks because her due date was tomorrow and we were all being annoying (in a fun way) calling her out on the board - Where's that baby!? She was in a "race" with 2 other girls - Kiki and Mary Ann - The Great Baby Race of 2006 - because they are all due within days. So anyway, Chantel posted an update this morning that has ripped my heart out. Her baby, Curtis Roger, was born yesterday afternoon - stillborn.

I still can't process it. It's just unbelievable. I feel so far away from these people - yet my heart is aching for them. I want to go to them and hug them. I can't do that - but I can pray from where I am... and that's what I've been doing like crazy.

I am not scared for me and Stella. Not one negative thought about MYSELF has crossed my mind, really. And that's the truth. I'm just so so so sad for these families I have grown to know and love. I can't even TRY to imagine what they are going through.

We are talking openly about these situations on the board and it is helping a lot to just talk to the other girls. Hopefully Chantel and Nikki will come back when they are ready and will see how much we love them and are thinking of them.