A Wedding Story

I know that people say that no wedding is perfect…but, I feel like I can truly say that my wedding was perfect. The process getting there was not perfect; but it was not totally awful either. The actual Wedding was amazing.



I worked Monday-Wednesday during that week and it was hard!! I just wanted to be off, doing wedding stuff! But I had been organizing and planning for so long, by the time this week rolled around, I had made all my phone calls, filled out all of my charts and spreadsheets, and I was sitting at work with nothing to do!! It was torture. My friends at work (my fellow admins) bought me a Congratulations balloon and got me a card and said they would miss me next week. And I was off!!

Wednesday night Toby and I went to Wine and More and bought all of the alcohol. I bought the wine and champagne and Toby bought the beer. Who knew that kegs weigh 256,478,239 pounds! If Toby’s back wasn’t already hurting, it certainly was after loading the truck! But it was DONE. We then went to Red Robin and ate hamburgers (I had a healthy turkey burger- like that was going to undo the 3 weeks of horrendous wedding stress eating I had done…) It was at this dinner that Toby told me he was going to have to work on Valentine’s Day and then do a side job that night so my dreams of cooking him our first married dinner were dashed. In addition to that, he was going to be working late ALL WEEK. I was upset and didn’t really talk the rest of the meal because my jaw was doing that hurting thing when you are about to cry and I was afraid if I said anything I would just bust out in tears…so I didn’t. I just needed time to digest the fact that I was going to spend most of my first married week alone. But no worries, it ended up being fine. :)

Thursday was errand day. I went to the flower place early in the morning to pick up my cake topper/throw-away bouquet to take to the reception hall since I was going there anyway that day. On my way home, my cell phone rang and it was the cake place. The lady said that she wanted to know what time on Saturday they could bring the cake and they wanted to bring it at 9am or as early as possible so [and I quote] “they can get started with their weekend.” Ummmm. Huh? Are you not a bakery? That does weddings? That are typically on Saturdays? Why are you acting like this is an inconvenience? My reception isn’t until 8pm! I don’t want a cake sitting there for 11 hours!! I told her I’d call her back.

Kristen came over and we loaded up her car with reception decorations and favors and I drove the truck full of alcohol to the Columbian Community Center. Deborah, with Incredible Edibles, told me that she had talked with the Center and that I could bring all of my stuff to the Center on THURSDAY and they would store it for me in preparation for Saturday. Less to deal with on Wedding Day! Sweet!!

So we get to the Center and this guy Tommy (I had never talked to him before, I had only been dealing with Deb) greeted us at the door and when I told him why I was there, he said “Oh no. You can’t leave anything here today.” (Remember: I have $400 worth of keg beer in the truck that can not get hot.) We go back and forth for a second because this is truly not my mistake. I’m not trying to toot my own horn, but I am an event planner. I used to work in the catering industry. I plan meetings and events for my current job. I made TIMELINE SPREADSHEETS for my BRIDAL PARTY for Pete’s sake. I did not make a mistake. THEY did. There was obvious miscommunication somewhere on their end. Which is fine. It happens. Just fix it.

So, after trying to make me feel guilty (which did not work) he decided that I could leave my stuff. We unloaded everything into a closet…and kegs into a walk-in cooler. Tommy proceeded to get on my last nerve by telling me things I already knew about the event business (he had been in this job for ONE WEEK)…and trying to make it sound like he was bending over backwards for me, when I know it’s part of his job. He kept making comments like “We have a middle school dance going on here Friday night so I’ll be here by myself until 2 am putting up the tables for YOUR reception on Saturday.” I don’t care! What do you want me to say, Tommy? “Oh! Don’t worry about putting up my tables. Go home and get some sleep!” I’m only paying a huge amount of money to have my event at this location. Or maybe he wanted me to throw myself on the ground in front of him and kiss his feet. What I wanted to scream was SHUT THE HECK UP!!!

Tommy was about to send me over the edge with his never-ending comments so I decided to get on my cell phone and call the cake place back. I told them I was not comfortable with my cake just sitting there for 10+ hours. They told me that they do this all the time and that there was nothing to worry about. I told them to go ahead but if I got to my reception at 8pm and the cake was on the floor, I would be HIGHLY upset. Geez.

Tommy then tells me that the catering company, Incredible Edibles, will not arrive to the Columbian Center with the food or the linens for the tables until 6pm on Saturday to prepare for my 8pm reception. Thus I could not decorate the tables any earlier than that. WELL, since I have to be at the church at 5pm on Saturday for MY CEREMONY, I will not be able to be in 2 places at once. I was trying to explain this to Tommy when he kept interrupting me or not looking at me or he’d change the subject. I finally slammed my pen down and said I was leaving. I will not waste my time talking to a brick wall. I would get in touch with Deb (the caterer) on Friday to discuss this linen/decorations issue.

My Mom, Kristen, and I then go to Short Pump Towne Center for some lunch and some pampering at Avalon Spa. We ate lunch at California Pizza Kitchen where I tried to be calm but was all worked up over TOMMY and the cake and the reception. They were nice enough to let me vent…and I sort of got it out of my system. Then we went for manicures and pedicures which were AWESOME. I love French manicure on my toes! Even though my wedding shoes are close-toed… Atleast I know it’s there.

I went home after all that and tried to relax for awhile but it wasn’t happening. I finished up some packing (Remember I am MOVING during all this too!) and watched some stupid reality shows on MTV….

My best friend (and Maid of Honor) Cece had flown in from Hollywood, CA that day and she was taking me and another friend, Cyndy, to dinner. She picked me up at 7pm and we met Cyndy at Pomegranate on Cary Street in Shockoe Slip. Yum. Yum. Yum. It was such a nice, low-key dinner. JUST what I needed after a sort of stressful day.

On Friday, the day started with a call from the florist telling me that their wholesaler shorted them on the Gerber Daisies and that they did not have any for the corsages. Nice. I just told them to “do whatever.” I’m over it at this point….

Most of Friday was spent stalking the caterer. Literally. I called her and left messages. I wanted to pick up the linens myself and put them on the tables myself, so that I could go ahead and decorate how I wanted to on Saturday morning. My centerpieces were not complicated but it was not just one flower arrangement; there were particular things I wanted arranged on the tables… It would just be easier to do it myself. But, I could not get anyone to return my calls. Mom and I went to Ruby Tuesdays for lunch and I sat at the table with my cell phone and my wedding binder in front of me. I felt like I was at a business lunch. As a last resort, I called my friend TOMMY at the Columbian Community Center and told him I could not get in touch with Deb and had been trying all day. He gave me directions to their top secret location – which was in the process of being renovated since they just bought it. It’s an old Indian food restaurant downtown. Mom was my sidekick all day and we rolled up into that place like we owned it. A frazzled looking guy in an apron answered the door and I told him that I needed linens for the reception on Saturday. He called Deb (Funny how HE got an answer) and handed me the phone. She was out of town on a church trip and would not be at my reception – her banquet manager would. Nice. Whatever. She told me where the linens were and I loaded them in the truck and felt like a million bucks. Problem solved. End of drama.

I then got home and quickly showered and got ready for the rehearsal and dinner. This was the first time I got REALLY, REALLY nervous. I rode with Matt and Kristen to the church and felt like I was going to puke at any second. On the ride, we listened to some of the songs that will be on the new MCS CD in June – and they were awesome. But I need to hear them again when I am not on the verge of throw-up. I had MAJOR butterflies.

We got to the church and most everyone was already there. It was such a cool experience. Lynn, the church’s wedding coordinator, was amazing and Toby and I really like the Pastor there. We ran through the ceremony and everyone had a good time. No one cried – which I was glad! I didn’t want to get started myself!

After rehearsing, we all went to the Capital Ale House downtown for the dinner. We had an entire room to ourselves and it was just perfect. Toby and I sat at a table with Mom and Dad, Ramos and Kelly, Heath and Julie, and Mimi and Nanny. It was so cool to watch my grandmas laughing and chatting with my friends…Everyone had a great time eating (the food was awesome!) and trying new beers. Toby and I handed out our gifts that we got for everyone – and I heard Mom cried but I didn’t see. What a great night!

Cece drove me home and she asked me if there was anything I wanted to do…go to a club, go have a drink, etc. I said “The only thing I want to do is go to Wal-Mart, buy the latest issues of In Touch, People, Life and Style, and US Weekly, and lay in my bed and read them all!” So that’s what I did! A perfect wedding eve!

I woke up pretty early on Saturday. My parents, Kristen, my aunt Sunah and I all went to the Columbian Center and rolled up our sleeves and got started! Of course when we got there, the cake was already there. Grrrr. Anyway.

My aunt Sunah put the linens on the tables and Kristen followed her with the decorations - conversation hearts, rose petals, the center candle holder, and the votives. Beautiful.

My Dad set up the television and dvd player in the lobby – so that we could continuously play the DVD of our baby pictures…

TOMMY was flitting around “cleaning” but wasn’t really putting a lot of effort into it so Sunah asked if she could do some vacuuming for him (she’s one of those crazy people that LIKES to clean) and my Mom asked him if he would be offended if she cleaned the glass on the front doors! So Mom pulled out the Windex that SHE BROUGHT and shined them up. We got the place looking sharp! I felt so great and confident when we left there. Like I could totally relax about the reception.

I left there and checked into our room at the Embassy Suites. I ran into college friends in the lobby!!!! Courtney and Kim and their men. They got me all excited. I went up to my room and showered and did my make up and ordered a pizza and watched the Real World (notice a pattern here?) Cece got there around 1pm to keep me company. My parents then picked me up at 2:30 to take me to Carytown for my hair appt. Right before they got there, I got those pukey butterflies again! The entire time I was getting my hair done, I just wanted to throw up….my usual hairdresser, David, was there (He doesn’t do up-do’s so someone else did my wedding hair.) David ran across the street and bought me ginger ale and crackers. HE IS SO SWEET. My hair was beautiful – but more on that later.

We had an hour to kill before we went to the church, so Mom, Dad, and I went to Arby’s so they could grab something quick to eat. As I sat with my wedding hair and my veil in Arby’s, I was looking at my reflection in a window, and decided that from the front I looked like Princess Lea. From the back, my ‘do was gorgeous. But he didn’t do it high enough on my head, so from the front all you could see were 2 curls on either side of my head. Princess Lea. I started getting a tad upset about this; my parents were trying to convince me that I did not look like Star Wars. I just kept taking deep breaths and decided to “move on.” I had a ceremony to get through!

I got to the church and Lynn (affectionately termed the “wedding nazi” by the groomsmen) shuffled me through the hallways to the Parlor – so I didn’t have a Toby run-in. Me and the girls chilled in the parlor for awhile…some guests were coming in and out to say hello…Cece and Ashley frantically tried to reposition the curls on the back of my head so they did not make me look like you-know-who anymore, and it helped but didn’t quite solve the problem. I tried to forget about it…. The photographer took the guys outside for pictures (can’t wait to see those!) and then came to get me. We had a bridal portrait session in the sanctuary (gorgeous backdrop) and then me and the bridesmaids had shots taken together in the Parlor. It was fun and there was a lot of laughter. I was not nervous at all anymore. Those butterflies were gone. At that point, I was just READY.





Lynn gathered the parents and grandparents first and had them seated….then my bridesmaids went out….and my Dad and I had some alone time in the Parlor before Lynn allowed us to come out! It was nice. We just chatted. Then Lynn came bounding down the hallway and said “IT’S TIME!!!” I could hear the bagpipes (which were only played for me during the processional) and my heart was racing – in a good way. The photographer got a picture of me and Dad and then the doors opened and we were on our way down the aisle. It’s so surreal looking back… I was smiling and looking at the crowd. I remember seeing Leslie Harris…..and Troy….and that’s it!!!!!!!!! (Even though there were 300 people there!) I got to the end and I would ALMOST say Toby was tearing up…. And I was shocked that I wasn’t a blubbering idiot, but I was LOVING IT. I was taking it all in.



The ceremony was perfect. It seemed really quick – which I liked! The pastor was fantastic and I can’t wait to get the video to replay what he said – I remember liking it! I remember repeating the vows after him, and putting the ring on Toby’s finger…I remember looking up once and making eye contact with my brother. The recessional was very quick and we were ushered off into a side room to let the crowd leave for the reception. We went back into the sanctuary for pictures which went smoothly. But my feet were HURTING. I hope the pictures are decent.



After pictures, we were out in the lobby area of the church, about to get into the Towncar, when Toby’s sister said “I shouldn’t tell you this but my Dad told me that you reminded him of someone.” I was like “Who?” I was thinking one of Toby’s ex girlfriends or someone which I don’t care about…. She said “He said you looked like Princess Lea.”

Great. THANKS KIM! I still have a reception to get through! (haha)

ANYWAY.

The car ride to the reception was LLLLOOOOOONNNNNNNGGGGGG. The dude didn’t take the interstate which would have cut off at least 10 minutes. I was ready to party!! When we got to the Columbian Center, we had to wait in the lobby so that the bridal party could be introduced. I remember looking into the huge room and thinking it looked so good with the candles and the dim light – much better than that morning when we were vacuuming and windexing.

JJ, a great family friend and my DJ, announced the bridal party with his professional radio voice and it was perfect. I remember “waiting in line” to be announced and saying THIS IS SO FUN! Toby and I were announced to the “whoa whoa ooh ooh whoa whoa whoa” beginning of Bon Jovi’s “Living on a Prayer.” It was PERFECT. We then went right into our first dance which was sung by Erica, JJ’s wife. She did an awesome job on “Valentine” by Martina McBride. It was really nice to have a “live” first dance. Toby and I talked a little and scanned the crowd as we turned in circles. I really was very conscious to take in the moment.

Then came the Father/Daughter Dance. The moment I had been dreading – ONLY because I thought I would be a sobbing mess. JJ introduced the song something like this: “Now we have a special song that was sung by someone you all know. The bride. When she was very very young.” I remember hearing the crowd gasp! And he started playing it and the crowd “awwwwwed” and we started dancing. My parents recorded me singing “I know I’ll never love this way again” by Dionne Warwick when I was 3 years old. When I say sing, I mean SING. The whole song. And it’s not in baby language. I knew every word!! JJ “beefed” it up for me with his powerful DJ equipment and this is what I used for my Father/Daughter dance. And it was FANTASTIC. It was touching and funny. The crowd was crying and laughing at the same time. My dad just kept saying “This is so cool.” And it was.



Toby then danced with his Mom and I started mingling for a second until JJ called all the Lees-McRae College girls up to the dance floor! Once we got up there, we told JJ that he could tell Denny and Donnie to come too. They are our girls, afterall. We did a slow sway to James Taylor “Carolina on my Mind” and I made my way around the circle – giving each person a hug…and I can’t believe Stacy Coggins came!! Seeing her there was such an awesome shock. In some way, these people will be in my life forever - no matter what distance is between us or how much time goes by in between visits… I loved doing this special “event” with them.

…and this is where it goes into a time warp. I remember talking to so many people. I met Mel Dailey’s adorable daughter Lauren, who was excited because this was her first wedding. I talked with PMUSA people and got pictures with them. I saw Steve Miller and Eric. And finally met Tony’s girlfriend Michelle! I made a million trips to the champagne fountain since I kept setting my drinks down and losing them after a sip. I danced the Electric Slide and the Cha Cha Slide beside my Mom – who had been practicing all week. I danced a slow dance with my 5 year old cousin, Jacob – who was holding on for dear life! The fast dance music started and I remember being pulled into the middle of a circle by my cousin Jenn’s husband Bill – and he held my hands and we danced up a storm. He’s good! I remember standing with the LMC girls, getting ready for someone to take our picture, when Lisa yelled “HURRY UP! HOT IN HERRE IS ON!” and then we all went running on the floor. Donnie came out and danced with me and we made each other laugh with the words we knew. I remember hearing the beginning of “This is how we do it” and yelling at Courtney DeTemple – “this is for you!”

Incase you didn’t notice, the Princess Lea issue was GONE!!!!!

Next came the toasts and the cake cutting. They pulled up 2 chairs for us by the cake. First toast was given by my best friend Cece – and she was shaking so bad!! Which is funny because she does a weekly stand-up comedy show in Hollywood! She’s not a stranger to public speaking! She was so cute though. She told the story of when we met in 5th grade – and how when I told her I was engaged, all she could think of was a picture I drew of my wedding when we were young. I was the bride and Bret Michaels from Poison was the groom. (Crowd dies laughing.) And that Cece was my Maid of Honor and CC Deville, guitar player of Poison, was the Best Man – and Cece’s boyfriend. She also pointed out that in that picture we both had the “doorknob bangs.” She then went on to say incredibly sweet and touching things about me and about our friendship and about me and Toby as a couple….. and I didn’t cry again. I’ll probably boo-hoo cry at the video. Her toast was AWESOME.

Next was Toby’s Dad. He does not strike me as a public speaker but damn, he was also amazing. He talked about how Toby used to come up to him and say “Look, Dad, I’m almost at your waist!” THIS got Toby crying – which is not something that happens often so it was incredibly touching. He went on to say how proud he was of Toby and of us…It was so nice.

And then the music comes on… “Pour some Sugar on Me” by Def Leppard. It’s cake cutting time!!! We cut the cake and posed for pictures….and then it was back to mingling. I remember talking to Steve and Stacie Lutton in the lobby. I remember the husband of one of my Mom’s co-workers coming up to give me a hug and saying “I just have to give the most beautiful girl in the room a hug.” I remember talking to some of Toby’s Dad’s friends….I remember getting a glass of champagne because I lost my other glass…AGAIN.

Then it was bouquet time. (Music: “Hey Ladies” by the Beastie Boys) JJ says “All the single girls onto the dance floor!” I turn around and my good friend Denny (who is not TECHNICALLY a girl) is running to the floor. I’m dying laughing and JJ says over the loud speaker “And here comes Denny…and he has a definite height advantage!” Hilarious.

I throw the bouquet and it goes STRAIGHT to Kelly – groomsman Jason Ramos’ girlfriend. Everyone makes fun of Ramos…. And now it’s garter time. (Music: “Real Good Man” by Tim McGraw) Toby takes the garter off me (embarrassing) and then throws it to the men behind him and NO LIE – it richochets off the disco ball and goes RIGHT into Ramos’ hand!! No way! Now Ramos has to put the garter on his girlfriend’s leg and it could not have gone better if we planned it!

And now I have no more responsibilities so I am OUT ON THE FLOOR!



I remember dancing to “Hey Ya” and looking up and seeing my cousin Preston dancing with us. I remember SCREAMING “Baby got back” with the LMC girls. I remember Lisa, Najshula, and Donnie conjuring up old LMC Clogging routines to “Cotton Eyed Joe” and the rest of us standing around clapping and YEEEE-HAWing. I remember dancing with Cece, her neice Jordan, and Carol Bock to AC/DC’s “Shook Me All Night Long.” I remember embarrassing my brother, Matt, by playing one of his band’s songs “Future Freaks Me Out” and all my aunts dancing to it and singing every word and Kristen singing it to Matt as he tried to eat cake and ignore her. I remember making Jason Creekmore, Toby’s cousin, dance with me to “Ocean Front Property.” I remember Jason helping his Mom, Jill, out to the car and she was very “happy” because of the wine.

So many other little “blips” in memory… It’s hard to explain!! I do regret that I never even LOOKED at the dessert spread or at the bar… I hope the photographer took pictures….

I remember JJ announcing our last dance “Closing Time” by Semisonic and I remember dancing with Toby and talking a little about the night.



I remember everyone outside lining the sidewalk with their sparklers and us running down the middle to the car. I remember the photographer leaning into the car to take a picture. I remember the LMC girls yelling “It’s getting hot in herre! So take off all your clothes!” before the car door shut. I remember them yelling and running after the car as we took off.

We got back to the Embassy Suites with a basket of desserts the catering people had put together for us. David and Steve had somehow gotten into the room and left a very nice bottle of champagne on ice by the bed. And Cece had also decorated the room – there was a huge heart made out of rose petals on the bed, rose petals on the floor, and an arrow made out of Hershey kisses pointing to the fridge where there was another bottle of champagne. Oh, and I can’t forget the long stem roses in vase. She’s an amazing friend who did TOO MUCH!!

The next morning we met all of our hotel guests downstairs in the atrium for an awesome breakfast. It was also a little “party” for my great aunt and uncle who were celebrating their 51st anniversary that day! What a great way to start OUR marriage.

One of my favorite quotes from the whole event was said by my cousin Jenn’s 4 year old son, Jacob. My Nanny told me that the day after the wedding, he told Jenn,

“I had such a great time at that party last night. And the princess was so pretty!”

Seems like the perfect way to end this story… but actually, this is just the beginning!!