A LOT and NOTHING

I feel like a lot has been going on...and that nothing has been going on at the same time. Isn't that strange?

Last week was drama filled at work and I have really grown to dread my job. Maybe that is why I feel like A LOT has been going on because my adrenaline level has been at 100% for a week trying to deal with stuff. I hate that I hate going to work because for so long, I looked forward to it. But over the past year or so, it has slowly morphed into something I really don't enjoy and now I feel like it has hit a peak. And it's not fun. Last week, I came close to tears a couple times, out of sheer frustration and annoyance. It's a helpless feeling. Especially when you LOVE the person who is making you want to kill. I feel very conflicted. And then I feel guilty. Guilt sucks.

To make matters worse (or better?), I am supposed to hear about a new job today (I hope!) that I interviewed for a couple weeks ago. I truly have no idea if I'll get it. I have a good feeling...and then I have a bad feeling. So I'm telling myself that I did not get it. So if I did not get it, I'll be ok. If I did get it, SURPRISE! Weird way of dealing, but it works. I just wish we would hear something today. I'm starting to get pissed off at the amount of time they are letting us sit in limbo.

Life at home is good. :) We're steadily working on the house and Toby is doing a lot of fix-er-upper type stuff (new mirrors in the bathrooms, recessed lighting in the showers, etc.) We (and by we, I mean HE) are going to be putting up a new fence this weekend, hopefully. And then we can let Abby outside again! That will help with the dog hair tumbleweeds that are currently taking over the house; since she has had to be inside 24/7. It will also help with Easter getting more acclimated to her new home. She'll be able to venture out of the back bedroom without a huge dog in her face. Easter is doing well, but still growling at Abby when she gets too close...Fun times.

We ordered a new computer last week and should be getting it tomorrow. It is AWESOME and should be able to launch shuttles into outer space with all the STUFF on it. We paid a lot, but not a lot for what is has, if that makes sense. (I'm trying to justify my buyer's remorse. I ALWAYS get buyer's remorse with big purchases.) When we get the new computer, I will be able to download the program you have to use to post pictures here so I can enhance my blogging experience. :)

In addition to a new computer, we also bought a TRUCK!!!!!!! And funny thing is, this is the first purchase where I did not have buyer's remorse - I guess because I KNOW for a fact that we got a steal. We bought it from Toby's boss and it's a 2003 Dodge RAM 1500 with an extended cab (4 doors - so it's a family vehicle) and it only has 40K miles. It's fully loaded with anything you would ever want, and it's silver. :) It's a hot lookin' truck. It was valued at 8k MORE than what we paid. YAY!! I got the loan through my Credit Union and it was the easiest car buying experience I have ever had by far! Toby should be bringing it home today.

In other (more important) news...

Cece's Mom (my 2nd mom) had cancer surgery again last week. They found more under her arm so they went in to remove it. Once in, they found that it had spread into her muscle so they removed that too...but that was more than expected so she's going to be a little more sore. But she'll be fine. Cece said that she was cracking jokes on the phone so that's typical Carol. Mom and I plan to go see her in the next week or so.... I'll make her look at all the wedding pictures.

The Elletts are doing well, so I have heard from Linda and Christy. I had planned to meet them at New Hanover yesterday for the 9:45am service. HOWEVER, I was a big DUMMY and forgot to set my clock for Daylight Savings Time. I've only done that one other time in my life - and I showed up an hour early for work. But this time, I missed church and that made me very mad. I was MORE upset that it looked like I stood them up. I will be there next week.

I guess I just feel like I have a lot on my mind and I actually feel clumsy and out of sorts. Like I can't "get it together." And we all know what an organization freak I am! It's just strange - and I hope this passes sooner than later. I think hearing about this job will help me. I'll know what to DO!

Either
1. Pick myself up by my boot straps and start getting control with my current job and start digging deep for positive aspects that I can cultivate.
OR
2. Start the huge overhauling process of changing jobs and look forward to a needed change!!

I think my unsettled feeling is because I have had depressing things happen as well as exciting things; and I haven't had the time to indulge myself in either emotion - and this makes me feel crazy. Does that make any sense at all???

Oh well. Deep breath. I will post as soon as I hear that I got the job. (haha. Think positive! Like Carol Bock has preached to me since I was 10. Obviously, it works!)